amore

I woke up to these beautiful flowers on my front porch from a dude named Antonello for Valentine's Day! :)

questions

Here are some questions floating in my mind...

• Where am I going to live when I move back to Italy?
• With the opportunity of working as an 'english' interpreter in Pompeii, is this job going to be stable enough with providng the money I need every month?
• If not, where else can I work?
• When is the wedding going to actually be?
• Am I going to be able to get back to the States before the wedding?
• Is my mom going to be able to visit sometime before and during the wedding? Do we have enough money for that?
• Where are we going to live afterwards?
• Where is he going to work? Where am I?
• Is all of this too big of a giant to face?

I can look back at my past and see miracles, and see how pain, discomfort and only knowing the "unknown", can all work for good...but, this, this seems far too scary and big to conquer. I wish one of the unknowns would come to light soon, to provide relief, to provide some kind of action. Action for my future that I could hold and work for. Right now, I feel as if I'm holding a bunch of air, a bunch of ideas, a bunch of hopes; nothing tangible. I wish I knew where to start.

I truly had a wonderful time being in Santa Cruz this past weekend, and seeing such beautiful, familiar faces. When I would share about my adventures in Italy, whether they were words full of joy or of difficulty, it was needed for my heart to hear the words out loud, even if I was the one who lived them. But now, I'm home again and decisions need to be made, questions need to be answered (according to me), and change is inevitable.

Whew...as my heart and mind think about all of these things daily, I am reminded that God is bigger and he can take all my little bullet-points and bring them to life. He's a good starting point.

il mio papa'

~my Dad and I~

"The strongest and sweetest songs yet remain to be sung."

-Walt Whitman

a trip to Olympia...

Today, my mom and I headed down to Olympia to visit my Aunt Jonnie, my cousin, Josh, and his little one, Sam....who absolutely melted my heart and my mom's as well. From the moment we walked through the door, little Sam had the biggest smile on his face while he bopped around on his cute little tush. We had the greatest time making faces at eachother and playing with his toys...my mom ticker was definitely ticking today! :)

I haven't seen my aunt since before I left for Italy, and haven't seen Josh for almost 7 years! It was so wonderful to spend time with the three of them, go out to lunch at good ol' Red Robin, laugh with Sam (oh be still my heart), and to simply be near to my family. I have missed them.

mom and Sam (he snuggled right in) sweet Sam

"Aunt" Sarah and Sam

beautiful Aunt Jonnie and "Aunt" Sarah :)

Dad Josh, Sam and I

finding peace

Last week I came upon a beautiful day and decided to take a little walk. I left my house, walked up a few hills, down a couple streets and ended up at one of my favorite spots in Magnolia. It is a beautiful little park sitting right on top of the Puget Sound. I sat and watched a ferry make it's way down the Sound and listened to the wind in the trees. Peace was my middle name.

My mom gave me the sweetest book for Christmas, entitled, "be strong", by various authors/poets/artists. It is compiled of little sayings encouraging the world, each other and ourselves to 'be strong' and endure. I thought it would be fitting to share some of them through the beautiful pictures from my afternoon stroll.

"The best way out is always through." -Robert Frost

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."

-Margaret Thatcher


"We are never powerless." -Jane Seymour

"Perhaps I am stronger than I think." -Thomas Merton

"Today I live in the quiet, joyous expectation of good." -Ernest Holmen

having purpose in life...

Living in Italy for 6 months without a job and without all my "comforts" of home including being around my family and friends and being apart of a community that is familiar to me has left me feeling quite purposeless lately. My future is a bunch of little unknowns, that can be wonderfully exciting, but also very frustrating as well.

After having such a fabulous Christmas and feeling to thankful to have spent it with my mom and Antonello, I can now start to work on me and finding purpose in life again. My heart is crying for it.

I am finding purpose in a language. My mom got Rosetta Stone Italian for Christmas this year so I have been doing some studying here and there to not only lose the Italian I feel I have already lost but to also add some new info to my brain. If this story of mine is going to lead me back to Italy and possibly work as a tour guide in Pompeii, I better get workin'!


I am finding purpose in my mother. We have been having a wonderful, much needed time being with one another and taking long walks around the neighborhood while figuring out this life of mine. I am also 'trying' to find purpose in my past and in my family. It has been a long, hard road in trying to forgive the damage that has been done but now knowing that I am about to start my own family, it has lead me to look back and truly start to deal with the things that have been pushed down. I need to find purpose in the pain and in the woman I am and the woman God sees and has created...and that includes my past.

3 generations.

I am finding purpose in church. The "Mariners" group, aged 70+, at my mom's church, asked me to come in and speak at one of their meetings last week. They wanted to know all about Italy and Antonello, so I prepared some pictures, stories and my heart to spend a Friday night with them and eat yummy casseroles. At one point during the night, 'Dorothy' stopped me and said, "Sarah, honey, can you speak up, I can't hear you."...precious lamb of God. As I was leaving, I talked to Kay, who is 94 years old, and told her how difficult it has been lately. She answered by saying that sometimes it does your heart some good to talk out loud and share your story with others. Thank you Kay. So, this picture is of me after I came home from that night and my mom and I decided to take a picture of me in her new blouse...we love it!


I am finding purpose in re-connecting with friends and even being able to see some friends from high school this week! Kris and I went out for a birthday party and ordered some delicious food! It reminded me of Italy; I wonder why.

new year...new goals

Hi guys.. this is Antonello
I can't remember the last time I posted something on "my" blog.. it has been a long time ago, maybe too long.
I just want to thank you all for your support and prayers about our relationship. It's an amazing and incredible relationship but she is so worth it, she is the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful and strong woman I have never met.. I ask for more prayers about our plans.. specially our wedding plans, so that God can inspire us about taking the right choices.
I thank you all again to be part of this story.
Happy new year!!!