death

My aunt is dying of cancer.

It feels so strange to type those words. Everytime I think about it, my mind sees her laying in bed, with her weak body and bald head surrounded by her four children that are watching their mother die. Before future weddings. Before more grandchildren. My heart breaks to think of it, to picture her, to picture my cousins, to picture my already broken family, and to picture my own mom...and can't imagine having to go through the same thing with her.

So many feelings are racing through my already crowded heart. I fly home this Friday for two weeks to be with my mom and to spend time with my aunt. I don't know if there will be a funeral that I am going to have to attend while I am home; I am just praying/begging/hoping for some kind of unity/peace/reconciliation within my family during this time, through our grief and sorrow.

She is scared to die...and is just waiting for it to happen. What a lonely place to be in. I'm sitting here at my computer, crying, writing this blog in Italy, and feeling how extremely far away, physically, I am from her. I can only cry out and ask God to cover her, my cousins, and her brother and sisters with His tender touch and comfort.

Would you join me?