January 1, 2010

am I satisfied...

Once again, time seems to have slipped through my little fingers and the first thing to go is...the blog. :( So, here is a little tid-bit of how I spent my time during my time back in Seattle for Christmas break.

My beautiful cousin, Jillian, came up to Seattle from Olympia to stay with my mom and I for the weekend after Christmas and we had a blast, reconnecting, shopping, eating, cooking dinner, singing, and just laughing about all our wonderful memories growing up. It was a hard Christmas for her and her brothers, seeing that her mom, my aunt, just passed away months before. I am so grateful for the time I spent with her and she is now in the planning stages of buying a ticket to come visit me this summer! Wohoo!

Jillian and I at UW Village

Eating delicious hot dogs

I was also so so so grateful to have spent much-needed time with my besty, Kristin, who is due this April!!!!!!!! I cannot believe it and I am just beside myself with joy. I laid my head on her beautiful belly one night and as that little girl moved around, I, of course, cried tears of joy. I am so extremely sad I will miss the birth of this little treasure but am looking forward to the day where I can hold my little niece.

Kris and I in our high school pose :)

see how perfect her belly fits into mine!

For the day of Christmas, my mom and I headed down to Olympia to spent time my cousins and had a Christmas like we haven't shared in a long time; together with actual family. It was difficult to know that Aunt Jonnie wouldn't be there with us but to know that our family is somewhat coming together after such a long time of strife, will hopefully put a smile on her heavenly face.
As for Antonello, he stayed in Napoli with his family this year and although it was a little hard to be apart, it was glorious to see his face at the airport when he picked me up in Rome. Oh, what a handsome man I have. :o)
Right now, I am just working working working and trying to find more peace in this country. The language still eludes me at times but I am trying to learn. I titled my blog, 'am I satisfied...' because there are many times during the day, living in this city, where I think, am I truly satisfied here?
  • Am I satisfied with the constant traffic?
  • Am I satisfied with having to take the bus every day to work, which is absolutely packed 70% of the time?
  • Am I satisfied with how difficult it is not to be able to speak the language fluently, even with my own in-laws?
  • Am I satisfied with my little water heater that takes 1 hour to heat up so I can take a shower and wash the dishes in warm water?
  • Am I satisfied with the MILLION people who smoke here all the time?
  • Am I satisfied with not having my neighborhood and familiar roads surrounding me daily?
  • Am I satisfied with living so far away from my mom...again?
  • Am I satisfied with not having my good, solid girlfriends around me?
  • Am I satisfied with not being married yet and desperately wanting to start that part of my life?

Then, the kicker. I think back and read through my journals of how I ended up here in the first place. God brought me to California, to Twin Lakes Church, to go on a missions trip, to be placed with Antonello's family for lunch that Sunday, to take an Italian class at Cabrillo College where my professor adored Napoli and knew of a great Italian school I could go to, to go to that same exact Italian school, to find an apartment right across the street from where his mom works, to have someone at Antonello's church, recommend me for a job teaching English, to being hired to work for St. Peter's where I am currently working....

...am I satisfied? I feel as though my spirit longs for my "comfortable" life I had back in the States but I have to stop myself and think. I would have missed out on seeing and living this beautiful plan that is now part of me.

I am reading back through one of my favorite books, "Ruthless Trust", by Brennan Manning, and I will leave my post with this:

"The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise."

Am I satisfied? Tonight, I'm overflowing...

my gift

1 comment:

Haley said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed to hear this. Thanks for your beautiful heart. Love you from all the way over here in Portland.