questions

Here are some questions floating in my mind...

• Where am I going to live when I move back to Italy?
• With the opportunity of working as an 'english' interpreter in Pompeii, is this job going to be stable enough with providng the money I need every month?
• If not, where else can I work?
• When is the wedding going to actually be?
• Am I going to be able to get back to the States before the wedding?
• Is my mom going to be able to visit sometime before and during the wedding? Do we have enough money for that?
• Where are we going to live afterwards?
• Where is he going to work? Where am I?
• Is all of this too big of a giant to face?

I can look back at my past and see miracles, and see how pain, discomfort and only knowing the "unknown", can all work for good...but, this, this seems far too scary and big to conquer. I wish one of the unknowns would come to light soon, to provide relief, to provide some kind of action. Action for my future that I could hold and work for. Right now, I feel as if I'm holding a bunch of air, a bunch of ideas, a bunch of hopes; nothing tangible. I wish I knew where to start.

I truly had a wonderful time being in Santa Cruz this past weekend, and seeing such beautiful, familiar faces. When I would share about my adventures in Italy, whether they were words full of joy or of difficulty, it was needed for my heart to hear the words out loud, even if I was the one who lived them. But now, I'm home again and decisions need to be made, questions need to be answered (according to me), and change is inevitable.

Whew...as my heart and mind think about all of these things daily, I am reminded that God is bigger and he can take all my little bullet-points and bring them to life. He's a good starting point.