Living in Italy for 6 months without a job and without all my "comforts" of home including being around my family and friends and being apart of a community that is familiar to me has left me feeling quite purposeless lately. My future is a bunch of little unknowns, that can be wonderfully exciting, but also very frustrating as well.
After having such a fabulous Christmas and feeling to thankful to have spent it with my mom and Antonello, I can now start to work on me and finding purpose in life again. My heart is crying for it.
I am finding purpose in a language. My mom got Rosetta Stone Italian for Christmas this year so I have been doing some studying here and there to not only lose the Italian I feel I have already lost but to also add some new info to my brain. If this story of mine is going to lead me back to Italy and possibly work as a tour guide in Pompeii, I better get workin'!
I am finding purpose in my mother. We have been having a wonderful, much needed time being with one another and taking long walks around the neighborhood while figuring out this life of mine. I am also 'trying' to find purpose in my past and in my family. It has been a long, hard road in trying to forgive the damage that has been done but now knowing that I am about to start my own family, it has lead me to look back and truly start to deal with the things that have been pushed down. I need to find purpose in the pain and in the woman I am and the woman God sees and has created...and that includes my past.
After having such a fabulous Christmas and feeling to thankful to have spent it with my mom and Antonello, I can now start to work on me and finding purpose in life again. My heart is crying for it.
I am finding purpose in a language. My mom got Rosetta Stone Italian for Christmas this year so I have been doing some studying here and there to not only lose the Italian I feel I have already lost but to also add some new info to my brain. If this story of mine is going to lead me back to Italy and possibly work as a tour guide in Pompeii, I better get workin'!
I am finding purpose in my mother. We have been having a wonderful, much needed time being with one another and taking long walks around the neighborhood while figuring out this life of mine. I am also 'trying' to find purpose in my past and in my family. It has been a long, hard road in trying to forgive the damage that has been done but now knowing that I am about to start my own family, it has lead me to look back and truly start to deal with the things that have been pushed down. I need to find purpose in the pain and in the woman I am and the woman God sees and has created...and that includes my past.
3 generations.
I am finding purpose in church. The "Mariners" group, aged 70+, at my mom's church, asked me to come in and speak at one of their meetings last week. They wanted to know all about Italy and Antonello, so I prepared some pictures, stories and my heart to spend a Friday night with them and eat yummy casseroles. At one point during the night, 'Dorothy' stopped me and said, "Sarah, honey, can you speak up, I can't hear you."...precious lamb of God. As I was leaving, I talked to Kay, who is 94 years old, and told her how difficult it has been lately. She answered by saying that sometimes it does your heart some good to talk out loud and share your story with others. Thank you Kay. So, this picture is of me after I came home from that night and my mom and I decided to take a picture of me in her new blouse...we love it!
I am finding purpose in re-connecting with friends and even being able to see some friends from high school this week! Kris and I went out for a birthday party and ordered some delicious food! It reminded me of Italy; I wonder why.
1 comment:
weez..it was a surprise when I checked our blog out and saw your new post. I love it and I am so proud of you because of your new purposes. GO Rusty!!! It shows me once again the special woman you are and it makes me always more thankful about you. I remember that you use to call this life a rollercoast..well it can be exciting, tortuous, tough but above all very blessed if we keep having God sitting next to us.
Love you, the pigs
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