a bit foggy

It's 1:44 in the afternoon and I'm sitting at my little orange table looking out to my balcony where the rain won't stop pouring down on the little Italian street below, and I feel lost. It has almost been a year since I have worked last and it's, once again, making me feel purposeless. Not that I'm not looking or anything, but you have to agree, it's becomes a little harder with a different language than your own.

I have no idea what the next step is. I haven't heard back from Bruno, the guy I was praying/wishing/hoping to work with as a guide in Pompeii and all other avenues seem foggy. This language still eludes me and as hard as I try, I still feel and KNOW that I truly can't communicate my heart/ideas/desires fully. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Was I supposed to come back? Am I not listening closely enough for God's little voice in all of this?

As it is still pouring down rain outside, I am now going to turn my attention to my heavy Italian book sitting in front of me and read about my new mountain to tackle: Si impersonale

1. When the si construction is used with an infinitive, the conjugated verb is in the third-person singular or plural, depending on the object of the infinitive.
2. The phrase ci si must be used when a reflexive verb is used impersonally.
3. Compound tenses of impersonal si constructions are formed using 'essere'. If the verb is normally conjugated with 'essere', the past participle is always plural, even if the verb is singular.
4. If the verb is normally conjugated with 'avere' and the sentence has a direct object, the past participle agrees with the direct object in gender and number.

Good luck to me?